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The Funeral Angel
Loss. The loss of a beloved pet is as heartbreaking as that of a family member, because to those of us who have pets, they are family members. Letting them go when their time is up is devastating. In our home, we lost our beloved Rosie, last week, after a sudden illness. She has, as they say “crossed the rainbow bridge” but her lovely soft fluffy self and her big adoring brown eyes will forever be in our hearts. Rest In Peace Rosie. You were so deeply loved.
A candle lit here and others, lit, all over the world to connect us to each other in the same moment, regardless of the time zone. When there are many people watching from afar, it can really help them feel connected by asking them to "do something" to participate. This service with @sydney_funerals_co was created to give everyone several ways to participate.
Hawaiian inspired flowers for this service with @sydney_funerals_co at The Coast Chapel.
On Sunday, we celebrated a very special man, by wearing his favourite colour- yellow, eating his favourite food- chocolate coated doughnuts and dancing to his favourite music- Mambo No.5 and the Nutbush. We even wore stickers with his face on them. A memorial service can be anything you want it to be. This one was a true celebration of life in bright, living colour.
Choosing the right music for a funeral or memorial service seems like such a daunting task. Should you stick to traditional funeral-ish music? The classics? Do you want it to be heart -wrenching or uplifting? Are you choosing the music that would have felt good to your loved one? Or what you like?
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting some suggestions, tips and some stories about music choices and how to incorporate music to its most meaningful effect.
Tip No.1
Where to use music in your service.
Let’s start at the beginning. Music sets the mood. Your first song gives everyone a chance to settle in and be ready for what can be a whirlwind hour of emotions. Choose something meaningful to the deceased. For an elderly person, I always suggest considering a piece of music from their heyday, from their youth. If they lived through the war, perhaps it’s a war tune. For somebody of immigrant background, a song from their place of birth may be appropriate, if they still have strong ties to the country of their birth. I’ve not yet met a Scottish family that could say no to bagpipes. For a dementia patient, definitely go back in time to the times they could still remember, or to a time of happiness in their life, as these will be the times we are celebrating.
My lovely kind friends at @cjpicture_au made me this sweet little video from s recent memorial service. Everything about this day was personalised. The venue was chosen because it was local to where the family grew up. The incense, the petals were Buddhist inspired to reflect his beliefs. The beer and pizza served later were his favourites. Everything was simple and meaningful. The way it should be
Back in my teens, my friends and I used to wander through The Field of Mars Cemetery, in North Ryde, late at night. We thought it was cool, maybe a bit scary, but also beautiful. The sight of a huge angel, glowing in the moonlight was beyond amazing. These days, I am fascinated by the history of old gravestones, the stories they tell about families long gone, changes in language and societal norms , the struggles common to certain generations - wartime heroes, fallen soldiers, infants and children lost in the Great Depression. The headstones are mini history books, created to ensure that loved ones were not forgotten, long into the future and while they stand, even though so many have fallen over and stand askew, they continue to protect those memories - even if only to people like me, still wandering.
A bare footed/sock footed guard of honour for family to share petals in honour of their lost love. Sprinkling petals into the water was symbolic of ashes, but also a nod to his Buddhist beliefs.
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thanks to @cjpicture_au for the pics
This outdoor memorial including spreading of ashes, was so beautifully put together. A procession to bring the ashes into our circle. Flowers everywhere. Photos, music, a champagne toast; and all of it outside in glorious sunshine.
